So, this post is long, but it's more very important information about me:
In April 2011, against ALL and I mean ALLLLL odds, I decided that I wanted to try running. For those that don't know me well just yet, I'm the person who used to see runners, point, laugh and say, "HOW IS THAT FUN?!" I don't "work out" much less decide to run for no reason unless a mountain goat is chasing me down a mountain (it's happened, but that's another story for another time...) So, why would I ever make the conscious decision to try to become that person, running to nowhere in particular and seemingly ENJOY IT?!
Well, it all started like this: In early 2010, I began having some pain in my legs during a trip to Walt Disney World, pain that was pretty bad, like I had just completed a long workout a couple of days ago and it was that unpleasant soreness but I, in fact, had NOT worked out in a long, long time. After getting home and trying to soak in warm water, chew ibuprofen like candy, and spend a lot of time cuddling with the heating pads, nothing seemed to help and after a few weeks, the pain began to spread to my upper body. I was beginning to get worried when my 15lb dog wanted to cuddle and lay near me and when she touched me, I yelped in pain. With that, I decided to to visit the Dr.
At my first visit, he thought maybe it was a reaction to some medicine or something related to food poisoning, so I sat in his office a couple hours, he was on the phone with various people, they took samples and I went to the hospital for some x-rays. A couple of weeks later, I was still feeling worse and worse so I had an appointment scheduled with a local Rheumatologist. After more tests, this Dr. seemed sure that I had a transient form of arthritis. I was unconvinced but he treated me with strong antibiotics. After no change, and another couple visits, he decided it was probably fibromyalgia, since I exhibit the "tender points". I was unhappy with this diagnosis (not that I think it's a bogus diagnosis, but that I felt the doctor ruled it that as a last ditch effort to shut me up) so I called my family physician and was referred to Oschner's in New Orleans an hour and a half away to another Rheumatologist. This Dr. seemed more knowledgeable and willing to try to figure out what the ailment was so I was hopeful. He took additional, more extensive bloodwork and xrays.
At this point, my pain had become debilitating. I basically hurt everywhere, but especially my legs. Worst of all, it hurt more to be still, to sit, to stand, and most importantly, to sleep. Lack of sleep means the lack of ability to physically "recover and rest" which makes any pain you experience that much more detrimental and it just replays the vicious cycle of pain.
After the testing, this Dr. decided that I had Fibromyalgia. He gave me Lyrica and told me that physical exercise would benefit, giving me better emotional and physical health. I looked at him like he was on crack. If it hurts to SLEEP why on God's green earth would I try to move MORE?! I said sure, I'd try, but I knew I wouldn't. I mean, that was crazy... stupid Dr. dude...
I tried the Lyrica but it didn't make a dent at all. I decided I was still unhappy with the Fibromyalgia diagnosis, I didn't feel like it was the whole story of my chronic pain. One night the next week at yoga (which I had taken up recently as a form of stress relief), my teacher pointed out my flawed form during an exercise. She said, "your joints are hypermobile and you're turning your elbows out too far." I said, "Whaaa?" She thenshowed me how everyone else's elbows looked and then mine, and they were definitely different. That got me thinking... I googled "Hypermobility disease" and the rest, I think, is history.
After much digging, I determined that I either had the symptoms of Marfan Syndrome or Ehler's Danlos Syndrome. I called my Dr. and he scheduled some bloodwork to help determine more information. Neither of these diseases can be definitively diagnosed with just one test, but my Dr. said he was positive I didn't have Marfan, but that it was possible I could have Ehler's Danlos Syndrome, but in his words, "even if you did, it wouldn't matter. There's no cure, so you just have to treat the Fibromyalgia and hope that helps." He suggested the next step would be trying methotrexate, a form of low dose chemotherapy. I left his office crying. On the 1.5 hour drive home, I called and demanded to talk to him again. He got on the phone and I told him, "actually it DOES matter to me, to have a TRUE diagnosis to at least KNOW what I'm dealing with!" He apologized but remained unchanged on only treating the Fibromyalgia and deciding to try different medication.
After I hung up, I vowed not to go back, for a long time, if ever, to visit him (I haven't been back in over a year now). For a couple of months, I did nothing. No medicine, no doctors, no caring, but still dealing with the pain. The only thing that crept into my mind was trying the only thing that was left hanging. Physical activity. GULP. I decided I had to give it a shot, even though I was not hopeful. I resolved to walk our local bridge, 3.5 miles over the Gulf of Mexico, it's got a nice breeze, nice view, and that started it. After I found I could actually do it and not have adverse or even worse pain afterwards, I slowly crept toward the idea of "jogging" some. After trying it, running for just a couple of minutes during the 3.5 miles, I found it wasn't so bad. And, the pain wasn't any worse, so I decided to keep going. I began jogging more, maybe about 1/4 of the distance and decided I needed to set a goal... So this crazy-town talk went on in my head in the spring of 2011:
Diana the Disney lover: Why not shoot for the Disney Half Marathon?
Diana's brain: Wait. What? ....WHAT?! ......WHHHHATTTT???!!!
Diana the Disney lover: Yes, Diana-brain, 13.1 miles. You could do it.
Diana's brain: Wait. What? For REAL?! Seriously, girl, you CRA-ZY! I know it's Disney and all, but no. Haha NO!
Diana's the Disney love: Just shoot for it, and if you can't do it, at least you get a Disney trip out of it!
Diana's brain: Well, ummmm...... uhhhh....... ok, I guess?
So, that settled it. I began training, full of self-doubt, but bound for Walt Disney World, either way. I did it slowly but somewhat steadily. I ran the runDisneyb beginner Jeff Galloway training plan and set a goal of a 13-14 minute mile pace for the race. And somewhere in the late summer of 2011, I realized, my pain was diminishing. A LOT. Like, none. At all. I'll admit, I didn't even notice the benefits at first, because I was sore from the new activities that my body was NOT used to, but it was similar to the pain that I was used to on a daily basis from the chronic pain issue. But once I built up a base fitness level, the soreness slowly went away and amazingly, the previous pain was gone with it!
Now, I'm not sure if the running has "cured me". I still believe I have the disease, it doesn't get cured, just managed. I have found, that if I don't run regularly, the pain and inflammation return, sometimes with a vengeance. But I believe both the mental health and physical health benefits of running have changed my prognosis. I know how to treat it now. I run healthily, with low impact running-walking, and the soreness I feel after a long and/or hard run, are EARNED from my hard work, not as a side effect of my disease. I'm proud of that and I know that with rest, that pain will subside, as long as I keep running.
Guess what? I kept running. And running. I ran the Walt Disney World Donald's 15th Anniversary Half Marathon. I didn't win it, but I sure as heck finished. I finished crying. No. Bawling my eyes out. And I finished in my goal timeframe too! It was not easy, but it was worth every mile. I am so proud of how far I've come. To know that a year ago today, I still wasn't even running a mile yet. But now, a year later, I can say that I'm hooked. Races are fun, but runDisney races are INCREDIBLE! Since then, I've run another half marathon in New Orleans (another story, another day) and this coming weekend, I'm running in the runDisney Expedition Everest Challenge! AND I've convinced my husband to run the runDisney Tower of Terror 10 mile run with me in September!
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But guess what? Want to know what 's even MORE crazy-town? I've decided to run a FULL MARATHON. Yeah, that's 26.2 MILES. Why?! It's a new goal AND January 2013 is the 20th Anniversary of the Mickey Full Marathon and that amazing medal has my name ALLLLLLL over it! I know I can do it and want even MORE MORE crazy-town? A week after that, I'm going to fly across the country and run the Disneyland Tinkerbell Half Marathon a WEEK after running the Marathon to win not only the Tinkerbell medal, but also the Coast to Coast Medal for completing a race at both Disney properties within the same year! Whew! Wish me luck!
So, in closing, sorry this story isn't so short, but this has been a huge part of my life. I've found that for me, running is my cure, my medicine, and literally, a life-saver. The stresses of life along with the mental health issues of dealing with chronic pain can be debilitating and I've found that running has given me an outlet and a purpose I never knew I could strive for. Now, I have become that crazy runner; up early or up late, running in the heat, the cold, even on holidays, to run from pain and toward relief and happiness.
I hope you've found something similar, whether it's a physical activity or a hobby or a even just a friend that helps you come to grips with the pain and crazy of this life and "keep moving forward". Hope to see yall back here soon and if you ever see me out running, yell hey at me!
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